Sore Bum or the Diaper Look?

It is time to stop beating around the bush and start talking about the real problems in my life.  The struggle is real and it is unavoidable!  My keister is so sore from my first week of training for our Coos Bay to LA event that I had to take matters into my own hands.

I remembered buying my son a pair of padded biking shorts for a Scout High Adventure activity 2 summers ago. They mountain biked 100 miles in 3 days!  Super impressive! I knew that those blessed padded shorts could bring me some relief to my achy derriere.  Rummaging through the deep corners of his closet I unearthed the magnificent black lycra, equipped with ample padding. I needed to help at the elementary school, so I threw my workout clothes in a bag and headed out.

Arriving at the gym after correcting math and english papers for Mr. B, I headed to the bathroom stall to try on my new found miracle biking uniform.  Pulling them on they seemed to be a bit awkward, but I was willing to sacrifice my style ego for a pillow soft ride.  I gathered my gear and headed to the lockers to stash it when I caught a glimpse of a lady walking as if she was 8 months pregnant and wearing a diaper.  GOOD HEAVENS, THAT’S ME!  I stopped in my tracks and stared in horror at the Huggies lump that bumped out between my thighs, as well as the loaded-diaper look that I was sporting from the back. “Think of the comfort Heather, think of the comfort.”  I told myself.

I waddled out the locker room pulling down on my shirt every 5 feet to try and camouflage the saggy baggage.  I picked a cycle in the corner and mounted the bike.  Not too bad…. not too bad at all!  I dialed in my course that took me along biking trails of California’s coastline to refresh my memory of where our route will take us this July.  The hour long ride was sweaty, difficult, burned my legs, but my rear-end survived!  I felt so empowered to have finished a full 60 minutes of interval training. I pushed up off the pedals to dismount the bike and I instantly felt the rush of blood come surging into both lower cheeks.  OH THE PAIN!  I’m surmising that I must have been numb while in the seated position but once I allowed oxygen and blood to flow, the strong sensation followed.

Gingerly I headed to the nearest stretching area, to relax my muscles.  First spot, totally filled.  A helpful employee pointed out a nice sunny spot for stretching, just on the other side of all of the body builders.  It looked heavenly!  I took another few steps and realized that I was still wearing my fully loaded diaper that now had sweat marks highlighting my nether-region and made the executive decision to save my dignity for another day and decided to stretch when I got home.

I am grateful for that ill-fitting padded lycra diaper, but just between you and me, I will be going down to the local bike store to find a keister cushion that is just my size.

Happy Friday Everyone!